However you say it, it doesn't make it any easier...
I knew this was coming...... tried to prepare myself, but you can't escape it; the rush of fond memories, the feeling of disconnection to loved ones fastly approaching, the final moments before I leave and all the farewell's are said. Super sigh.
When my brother went out west, he bought a one way ticket, not sure if he would come back, so he didn't say any "goodbye's". I'm sure that was hard, but this seems worse. I can't just pick up and go, I have to say my goodbye's because I know once there, I'm staying.
Even after the goodbyes, it still hasn't fully sunk in yet. It will prolly hit me when I'm somewhere in Saskatchewan looking over and over and the endless flat landscapes and I suddenly gasp and say to myself that this is actually happening.
People ask me if I'm scared or nervous or excited. I'd say 85% excited, 10% nervous and the latter scared. I've always been full of guts and had enough confidence to make it happen. Most people recoil at the thought of change, I on the other hand, do not, because I love and embrace change. I think they have a diagnosis of this; ADHD.
Tonight I am having my "last supper" with my mom, friends, aunts and cousins. Hopefully more laughter than tears will be present, if all fails they can use me as comic relief because I am sure to do something silly, like mistake a lettuce leaf for a napkin (true life).
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